Whatever your cross,

whatever your pain,

there will always be sunshine,

after the rain ....

Perhaps you may stumble,

perhaps even fall,

But God's always ready,

To answer your call ...

He knows every heartache,

sees every tear,

A word from His lips,

can calm every fear ...

Your sorrows may linger,

throughout the night,

But suddenly vanish,

in dawn's early light ...

The Savior is waiting,

somewhere above,

To give you His grace,

and send you His love .

Whatever your cross,

whatever your pain,

"God always sends rainbows .

after the rain ... "

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost!!!

You have just one life... And its non-linear.

The happiness u possess in it, is soo delicate. Its like a spidery thread...so light, transparent....But I guess, spider threads r strong enof! I am not exactly a fan of spiders..but am a fan of compassion . It may not be exactly explicit on the outside..., but within me , in the real n true me, you can find it.Now, if u wondering how 'spiders' and 'compassion' are related, then read "Charlotte's Web". There's a movie too...but I havent seen it.

What'dya do when u have a bad day? My bad days are remarkable BMW prone. You know what BMW is?? BMW stands for Bad Mood Without-Reason. I am content when I am alone. Its a weird thing to be. For the long vacations, I can stay at home , call my closest frnds, perhaps , once in while! Survival is possible, as long as there is the Tv with its hbo/star movies/Zee studio channels and if there is internet connection in our Jaamboo PC, or as long as ems library is functioning. The required company to sustain life has always been provided by my parents. Is it weird to be so much friends with your parents? I love them, they constitute my best pals... We talk tons to a dozen about anything . And for that matter, they are two people who listens to me without any complaints...without any plaintive "Oh No". Sorry, right now, I am not feeling very good. Absolved in self-pity, I think I am...

I like going places. I like going places alone. My mind is more active then. Ems has a garden library , a place where couples come to spent some good times, and kids are brought for thier games ... I had a stubborn wish to go there, for the first time with someone..And I think I got the wish too.....Thx to AB. Then, I tried to take my mum. She's not the relaxing kind, so I quit. Have taken Ritz once. But, nowaays, I go alone. I walk alone, and its not good for me.

Saint Theresa's Prayer

Saint Theresa is known as the Saint of the Little Ways, meaning she believed in doing the little things in life well and with great love... She is represented by roses.

Saint Theresa's Prayer

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be..

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing,

dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

After a while you learn the difference , subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning

And company doesn't always mean security

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts

And presents aren't promises

And you begin to accept your defeats

with your head up and eyes ahead

with the grace of an adult , not the grief of a child

And you learn to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans

And futures have a way of falling down in midflight

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much

So plant in your own garden and decorate your own soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

And you learn that you really can endure

that you are really strong

And you really do have worth!

-- Veronica A. Shoffstall

Sunshine through the rain

When a person is somebody too sensitive, it always marks towards trouble. Uff... there are times when I get sick of myself. I remember, over a year back; my friend's father died. And, I was so sorry, wanted to help him, be there for him. But when I finally saw him face to face, I couldn't get even a word out of me. I was too numbed. And, he came over and talked to me . That day I hated myself. I felt so awful over my incapability of wanting to comfort some other.

I have been trying ever since to behave appropriately at the right times, as I should! It makes you feel good that you are perhaps helping out somebody. The value of a hug or hand squeeze is sometimes simply priceless. But I didn't know then that I would have to come face to face with death; and deal with hard core with the emotions.

Zibil died on February 16th. And, I cried over somebody first time in my life. It was a loss that was tremendous. He did not deserve to die, no matter what. Oh God, You know what You are doing, and I find comfort in that.

In April , my Grandmother passed away. If there is anybody whose death I never wanted , it is hers. I always used to pray to God, that she don't die very soon. She was 90. The same age Pope John Paul II would be , if He was alive. When He was 80 years old, he had come to India . My grandma ( we call her Mammachi) was very proud of being the same age as Him. I remember, around that time, we were all sitting in the living room at our house. Iyya was also there. Iyya (her son, my uncle) and Mammachi had a fight (she is splendid to argue with) , and finally she got so angry and exasperated ; and she told Iyya that she hoped that some lorry crashes into him on his way back. Oh, how we all laughed that day! And that day, she had declared that she will die only when she was reached 100. I was only a kid that time. And the fact is that, after her death, I realized that I had believed what she had said that day. Wheh she died, I was like, 'heyy, she's not yet 100!".

Hmm....

I witnessed her death.It is really true that death comes like a shadow. One minute she was alive, and the next, it was all over. I can still remember the moments before her death. Among her children, only my papa was present. From her daughter-in-laws, Beenaunty and my mother were present. And from among the grandchildren, Unnichettan, Ronnie, Ritty and me were present. Papa gave Mammachi the last drop of water she ever drank. When I had reached, the aunties from the neighborhood were already chanting prayers. When I went inside the room, I saw Ritty standing there crying, and Beenaunty beside the bed, plaeding Mammachi not to go. I , never believed, even that time that she will die. When Amma came I asked her "She won't die right", but even Amma said that she was dying. I stood there kind of numb , not being able to digest all that was happening. Mammachi took some ragged breaths, I was staring at her, staring at her with an intensity aroused from the knowledge that I will never ever again see her alive; something like recording a last memory of hers. And , even though the condition that she was in was very sad, all I could think as I gazed at her face was how cute she looked.

Oh God, I hope she is happy and with you in heaven. Even if my immediate emotion was sadness, it later turned to contentment. She didn't' deserve to suffer more . And, when I think about her, I have only fond memories. I loved her and still love her so much. Thank you God for having had given me such an incredible grandmother. She was my best friend, in my childhood; my playmate whenever need be, she have rocked me to sleep even if I was too big for that..her 'tharattu' is simply a unique one; and later she was my student, helped me in studying malayalam in 10th, and later on, I made her say English. It had such hilarious outcomes. She was a great singer, her songs will forever be remembered, oh how can we forget !And most importantly, I loved the kisses she used to lavish upon everone. I call it the "manathittu umma" ..means she kinds of inhales when she kisses. I always used to especially ask her for that kisses.
Miss you Mammachi....

Alpha...The Beginning

This is my first ever blog and I must say that I am rather at a loss. Oh, I have lots and simply lots to write about, but I have what is called as starting trouble. I suppose it is worthwhile having it too, coz, it will eventually teach me how to overrule it.

I like the name of my Blog, THE FLASH. I must say it is not my creation. I would give the credit to L.M Montgomery. It is from one of her books, Emily of New Moon. I must thank Emily I suppose. I must thank her, yes, because I like the name. As the name , herewithin you will see flashes of my life, my thoughts, my aspirations...and hopefully not, my lamentations.

Today , I had a clash with God. I had an accident , of sorts. I mean, nobody was hurt, not even the vehicle I was driving. But I was shaken up. I had been contemplating for some days something out of ordinary, I could feel it coming. I had been driving quite fast for some days now which is really not like me, and I wasn't liking it, yet I wasn't stopping my urge to. Well, today I got what I felt was coming . And I deserved it. Later on, I was outside this supermarket, my mother went inside to shop. I was still outside, thinking it all over. I realised I could have put my mother's life in danger with my folly. This was one such moment when I felt so much disappointed with myself. Well, I shrugged it off, and ran to the supermarket doors. There the watchman asked me kindly, " Why are you in so much a hurry? Slow down!" . The plain truth in what he said hit me hard. I was so full of remorse, so touched,and I felt, that God had told me what he wanted to , through that watchman. I just closed my eyes and let the truth of God's love and care wash over me. And, I felt the Flash!